Dating is difficult. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of going out with someone for a significant length of time, you know this. There are awkward first dates. There’s the difficulty of going out of your way to please your date, compromises to make. You need to churn out effort, and follow the right dating tips, to make sure each night ends well. It’s difficult. It’s great and fun, without a doubt – but difficult. And yet subconsciously, we all know that marriage is much, much harder.
That makes the hopping from point A to point B quite the nerve-wracking jump. So, should marriage already be in your sights from the moment you start going out? Is putting a ring on it the end goal?
A Love To Last
Romance is one heck of a tricky game. But let’s not confuse this with love. The concepts are inextricably linked, but they’re not one and the same.
Romance is what brings you together. Butterflies in your stomach? The giddiness you get when you think about the one you have dinner and watch movies with? The obsession with following the right dating tips and rules every time you suit up? Those are real feelings, but a high that fades away.
Love on the other hand, is a choice that is made regardless of what you feel. It’s appreciating and doing all you can for a person; loving that person, and not just the concept or the idea of him or her. It’s a lot more difficult when you’re not acting on a high of hormones. It’s the difference between going to the gym when you’re motivated and drunk on new year’s resolutions, and going to the gym even when you’re lazy to do it. The latter is harder. But it’s the one that gets you results that last.
So to answer the question: should you be dating to marry? Well, the answer is dependent on whether you want a long-lasting, sturdy love. Because no amount of dating tips can make the honeymoon feeling last forever.
If you’re looking for a love that’s sturdy, a love that lasts, then yes, view each date as a far-off prelude to marriage. View commitment as something that will become permanent. Choose it knowing you’ll be making sacrifices.
The message that you’re only dating someone to pass the time isn’t a very loving one: it’s saying, “I’m only dating you while it’s pleasurable or convenient for me”. And that’s not the type of love that stands the important test of time.
What Does Marriage Require?
This one is pretty simple. As shared by Fierce Marriage, when deciding to marry someone, treat it like you’re buying a house together. Discuss what is non-negotiable, and where you can be flexible. If you’re both compatible on the things you decide are non-negotiable – whether it’s politics, religion, children or anything else – then you’ve got a solid foundation.
Those things assure that you’ll always have a common denominator to fall back on – a common thing to tie you together no matter how rocky things get. Just like how a house built on a solid foundation can withstand the elements.
Remember, marriage is a long-term game. It’s a lifetime commitment. And fortunately, a lifetime reward as well.